A self confident personality is not possible until we built
solid foundation of self reliance, the main deterrence of self reliance is
mistaken beliefs that others are smarter, wiser, more intelligence or luckier
than we are.
This causes us to look others for your happiness and
welfare. The moment you are comparing yourself with anyone else you are
subjecting psychological slavery. And we are always find external reasons for
all of our worriers.
Please remember that we have born with only two fears-
fear of loud noise and fear of falling down- rest of the fear about anything-
your promotion, what society will think about your family, or what your boss
impression about your work, or what wife‘s mood if you have late in friends
party with two pegs, all these we have created because of our false self
confidence.
No one can let you down if you are not leaning to
them. No one can hurt your feelings; make you unhappy, angry or disappointed if
you are depend on them for your welfare, inspiration and motivation.
Once you are self confident you don’t have to
procrastinate, escape or evade what we facing in our life
Can we examine what is the reason for this domination
of third parties in our life?
Every living being in the world has two options when
they are facing with any kind of problem or threat- FIGHT OR FLIGHT
Fight- means you have to stay there and
conquer/eliminate the reason of your fear
Flight – means you must run away from your problem, so
that you feel safe.
Our all body reactions, like sweating, increased
heartbeat, adrenaline hormone pumping in to blood etc is to make us ready for
fight or flight action.
Human being, since having an intelligent animal should
take an appropriate action after analysing the situation – please remember that
the same thing is applicable to all- but with less or nil intelligence.
In depth examination shows that we are spending our
entire childhood to developing skills that would make good impression on
others.
Thus even at the early point of our life we were
programming ourselves to depend other peoples approval. If we are doing good
things not because we would like to do it but because others believe it is good
and appreciates the work.
We will get comment and approval as good kids. This
will make us approval and recognition seekers rather self confident
individuals
Shortly after birth all other species of animals push
their young out in to the rough and real world where they soon learn
independence and self reliability.
The greatest gift parents can give their children is
to help them self confident by making them self reliant. Remember that we
cannot live other people’s lives or bear their burden no matter how much we
love them.
Obligation is the greatest psychological evil of
mankind, we wanted to be great person, be independent and do important things
but he cannot, because our primary motivation is always seeking approval of
others.
How we can achieve the great happiness and way of self
confidence if we will adopt the following five things.
1. Never compare yourself with anybody
else- Comparison is sign of poor self esteem and condition
of fear. If you are working in large company with this comparison syndrome you
always be in fear that the people above are superior to you and below are
threat for catching up your position and ultimately loses the enjoyment of life
and job.
2. Avoid unnecessary competition-
Unhealthy completion kills creativity. Really we are starting competent with
others when we are unsure about our own abilities. We strive to excellence in
our own life rather be competitor to others and approval seekers.
3. Seek reorganisation not praise.
If you are praise seeker every time you do something to meet someone else’s expectation
not prove your capacity or skills. Participation is a great achievement-do
remember that.
4. Free yourself from other
expectations and do what you are thinking right. Your basic responsibility is your own physical
and emotional well being. Nothing can stop you from achieving total self
confidence if you really wanted to. Question is bondage or liberty, the choice
is up to you.
5. Accept and encourage your self
esteem. You can never be better than your self esteem. Boost
your self esteem by every deed and never accept anything which lay down your
esteem. Self esteem is nothing but accept your worth and skills and value
addition to the life.
a. Self esteem is not ego trip, if you
are egoistic you will become a boasting guy and it shows poor self esteem.
b. Self esteem is not making you
happy; accept and adopt high values and beliefs which will make others too
happy in your life. In surface many people including
great personalities appear to have high self esteem, but not
always , some of the most admired people in the history have become drug
addict, alcoholic and even committed suicide just to escape]e from poor self
esteem.
Friends,
and fellow toast masters, no one is obligated to change
just to make your life better and comfortable, because every one of us is doing
our best in the preset level of awareness.
Aware,
Achieve and Adjust
Really
nobody, No corporate gurus like Robin Sharma or books can motivate a person,
what they are doing is changing a persons awareness once your awareness
changes, you must change completely. Changing awareness means get knowledge.
Achieve
something you believe worthy in your life, it may be laptop or charitable
donation, or daily prayer or admission of a club, which will boost your self
esteem in high level.
If you are
perfectionist, you always find problems, so learn to adjust this word is here
like this because of many people working for us, hence we also work for
somebody else with our contribution.
When you
are using your skills and talents in profession to improve the quality of life
we are learning to share and care. And Adjust with others.
If you adopted the following few steps will
make magical changes in your life.
1.
Remove/leave anything in our life that is not working well for our life- Leave all self defeating concepts and believes.
2. Add and
adopt good things which will boost your self esteem and self confidence-Keep Positive thoughts
3. Avoid
people, habit and moments that leading to poor self esteem- Avoid Negativism
4. Recognise our
weakness and try deliberately to improve your strengths above the weakness.-Decide and determined that you need self
confidence.
5. Take a strong
decision and pledge that let nobody down your self esteem in any way. Up keep your self esteem.
We should live our self esteemed life in a
confidence way with dignity, happiness, prosperity. The magic keys we must use for opening the locks of mind
and make it out.
